pheromone dating

ok, new rule: PHEROMONE DATING only!

i think times up on the whole spending time with people you just don't feel. at least for me. 

at this point i want everything i involve myself in to have a purpose.  i mean everything has a purpose/reason, but i don't wanna waste my time on situations that do not intrigue me. 

i need/want a full on attraction! even if it does not lead to anything fatal. i want to be drawnnnnnn to someone. excited by the thought of them. ughghghghgh!!!!

PHEROMONE DATING, and THAT'S IT!

abandonment issue

seeeeee, i hate this... issue.  WEN i feel 'abandon-ed' i want to punch myself, or my friends friend. sux! you see, it's not nice to leave people hangin. i think that WEN this happens again i will make a bomb. yea, you know a 'nuclear'. so.

anyhow, who cares. whose going to get me out of the gumball machine, annnnnnnnnd WEN will that be?! 

btw: this is un-real. 'fiction', as they call it in the literature world. but maybe not.

un-comfortable

sooooo- i am back in the cold (super cold) and feel like i am ret to go... somewhere, i don't know. anyhow, i am feeling physically 'un-comfy', not 'un-well', just a lil 'un-comfy'. um, yea. honestly, i have been trying to think of a way to better explain this dilemma, but i don't wanna. too much work.

moving forward: i had a great time away! it was amazing to have no destination/obligation for the past few weeks. 

just get up, walk out,  and end up somewhere.  i met a lot of random people along the way. that was lovely, and i also realized that i hate the cold. 

i wonder wen spring will hit... i should be more aware considering my bday is on 'ground-hogs day'. i should be more supportive of punxsutawney, but i have always had a weird thing with shit that takes away from ME on the anniversary of the day that I entered earth... i don't even like to shake hands with people who share the same day of entry as moi. my mom thinks it's ab-normal, but what does she know?!? she thinks 6,539,488 x's 653 = 4,270,285,664! 

whatever,  back to my original non-sense... so, how's it going?! me, you know... living. it's fun, but wen will it be warm again?! well, actually it will be on the 6th of march. i will be in hawaii. i already look native. i am tan. puerto rico.

today, is a really weird day. i can't seem to gather my brain for a full throttle. you see?! i am all over the place. it's ok, because i need to learn how to embrace moments like this... you know wen your brain just shuts out. it's interesting to just type out whatever is going on in the nog. even if it does not make sense. it's ok.

-anal sex: i don't know much, but i think that pain killers/doobie/music/liquor (HARD)/ and maybe a really thin penis.

-falling in luv: it should happen more often. cos, it's like... nice.

-comb overs: you know, i really have an issue with this one. i just don't get it. every time i see a guy with that ridonkulous 'solution', i just wanna slap him in the face really hard so that i can disturb the do, but not in a mean spirited kinda way. nooooo. not like that.

-long nut sacks w/ tiny balls: weird. it just is. it's unnecessary.

-emo kids: ... still, don't quite get it. it like takes over their being. they even have 'emotional hair' do's. i don't know what's worse, a comb over, or a 'depressed/angry' haird do... well, both take effort... so, i guess it would be un-fair to take anything away from a... race?

-skinny jeans (men): oooooooooh, now this wild phenomenon gets my panties in a bunch! whyyyyyyyyyy?!??! mother fuckers, whyyyyyyyyyy??!?!! have we asked for men to be more sensitive, yes. have we asked men to not watch football for the whole day on our birthdays, yes. have we asked men to do an ocd check for their pubes after they've  wizzed, yes. have we asked men to shower before touching us (actually, maybe jst me) yes. have we asked men to refrain from using the word 'pussy' in public, and un-leash it for only wen they have us in doggy, yes. have we asked men to be a bit more thoughtful, yes (but don't go tear ballistic wen watching 'the notebook'. that's just weird.) have we asked men to be psychic, and know wen we are pms-ing, YES! buttttt some-one tell me how in world did allllll of the shit above translate into green-lighting 'skinny jeans' for men?! i don't know. wen in the world is this crisis going to end? god-speed.

-saturated fat: hate it. eating animal fat is just plain weird. it gets weirder every time i think about it. i just ate a slice of ribroast, yummHummerz!

-bad kissers: ew. just ew.  i don't care what anyone says, a bad kisser is a sin. un-forgivable. 

-wii: i like it.

-cuddling: i am trying really hard to desensitize. but maybe wen i want to really badly i will.

-bonsai tree: my passion

-pita grill: chicken brown rice bowl, holler!

-tall men: they better smell good.

-hammer toe: you have extreme darkness in your soul.

ok, i gotta go now. i need a hug, or 850 million dollars. which ever. 

bye, bye. don't do drugs, and get fisted. peace.

ricky martin + jlo + skeletoro anthony = mofongo... or p.r

hello, freak dicks! yes, yes, i am officially a 'women' now. i'm 30, and i am soild. no, i did not have a breakdown (although de universe did try me.) 

i think '30' is sexy. it sounds sexy, therefore it must me. plus i am like benjamin button... figure it out.

anyhow, i am in puerto rico. i am having a wonderful chill time. waking up early to go walk a gazillion miles, and boom i am at the beach. i love it! i do yoga, and get more vitamin d than a jew in boca (don't worry, spf: 850, 000.)

i've been meeting up with my friend, duda, to stalk every yoga class in san juan. it has been quite an adventure! i love walking into a whole new world where a bunch of randoms are there for one intention. that's kinda cool. the energy is quite thick.  i almost fainted in the last class, because the 'energy' ( i hate that word. so dramatic) was overwhelming. i lived... and did a couple of 'flyers' (acro-yoga.) i can see that taking the place of testicle tickle-ing in my near future. 

i've also met some great people as well. SHOUT OUT: 'ching-wah rodriguez', and 'charles beale cuban sandwhich'.  they both came out to celebrate my bday grub. how sweet, and overly sexual. no one offered me intercourse, but it's ok. it's not something that one just offers. especially when they have only seen your face 3 times. then again...

i am excited for the color of my skin. i am tan. which = sex.

my skin naturally feels like silk (ASIAN) but now it feels like GOD. tis true, bitchez.

p.s i now know how one can get 'pin worms'. please do not touch your ass hole, then touch a door knob, and thennn put your hand in your mouth... or something like that. 

p.p.s i now know more about 'hemroids/hemorrhoids' than i do about my purpose in life.

*make good choices, and remember to wash your hands after touching your asshole, and a door knob. peace.

this should wake you up

... make good choices. quality of life is a choice.

right 2 left in 200MINE

sooooo, i realized that the post below mainly focuses on 'don'ts', and well, that goes against the 'secret' (uh-huh, yup yup) and against the 'laws of attraction'. therefore, i'd like to throw out to the universe all the crappers that i want for the new year.

here we go:

$- continue lightening the load (internal/external. check visual above)

$$- everyday challenge the yogi within me (... waiting for you to stop laughing)

$$$- continue exercising my open-ness.

$$$$- creating a brand new idea daily.

$$$$$- clean diet 

$$$$$$- being more involved in helpful world ideas, and causes. 

$$$$$$$- taking more classes on things that intrigue me.

$$$$$$$$- taking more classes on things i have no idea about.

$$$$$$$$$- rationalizing myself into 'cuddling'.

$$$$$$$$$$- force- touching (affection)

$$$$$$$$$$$- saying 'i love you' a billion times a day.

$$$$$$$$$$$$- working my way to cure my claustrophobia (mild. sorta)

$$$$$$$$$$$$$- continue gratitude prayer daily (fucking oprah)

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$- kickin up  the friendship bar 

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$- forgiving daily (ugh, but gots too)

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$- continue my fascinating skill of 'getting along'

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$- spilling my guts 1 movement at a time

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$- falling in love more than once every 6 years

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$- letting people in ( slowly, BUT surely)

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$- continue supporting britney spears

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$- going only towards things that make me feel good

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$- enjoying every second of my journey

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$- collecting amazing brilliant souls along the way

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$- always keeping in mind that time is of the essence (it helps me make better choices)

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$- using my energy for only the progressive (what/who ever that may be)

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$- surrounding myself with love daily

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$- staying conscious of trying new things daily

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$- being present ( new thing i learned how to do in 200gr8t)

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$- whatever enters has to exit in a healthy way

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$- evolving daily into being a better human being, so that i can be a solid resource for others

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$: HAVE A SHIT LOAD OF FUN ALONG THE WAY

ok, once again, gots to run. this list can go on till the day i die. come to think about it, it will. i know it may sound generic, but i've come to deeply recognize that all of these 'do's' are actually the truth. truth to a better life = truth to a better me= a better you... think about it. harder.

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

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                                                                         $$$$$$$

                                                                          $$$$$$$

                                                                          $$$$$$$

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

ok, now that's out of my system (suppose to be an "H') the # 1 thing for me to get all of my 'desires' met is DISCIPLINE. i am a creative zany type, therefore i neeeeeed to create guide-lines for myself to buy my freedom (not by others, but ME.) and be helllla strict! some may say that's not balancing, but i know me best. i like to indulge, so yes it is 'balancing' when you really think about it. plus, i want what i want! ANNND there is an interesting process that comes along with staying in the line to get to what it is that you want.

ANYHOW, happppy new year, bitchez! enjoy the new year with all the good stuff! don't waste your time!

no more charity

ok, new year, new rules. 

numero uno- no more 'charity' dating. i've tried out 'personality' for the past few years, and it dawned on me that it's so effing played. i'm moving on! my shallow-ness is dying to come out, and mingle. 

realization: if the person is smokkkkkin, but a mental midget... well, who says they have to talk, OR you have to listen?! just pretend... let's call it 'magic' time. use your imagination! my taking is if the individual is easy on the eye's 'make-believe' is easier, but if it's only 'personality'... too much work, and i'd prefer to look back after the party is over and say 'well, at least he was hot'!  that leads us into numero dos- no wasting time! i refuse to waste my time on wack-ness. people, ideas, things, and my own bullshit. therefore, every second of my time will be worthy of... whatever crap i engage in. 

numero tres- no more recycling of the 'winners' (retardos) that i've had 'history' with. 

numero quatro- NO MORE MALE BITCHES! ugh, that's the worst, male bitches (passive agressive, overly emotional, can't control their emotions from reality, needy, attention freaks, reactors, basically drama queens!) severe turn off! not 'sensitive', but 'male bitches'... very different.

numero cinco- be nicer... i'm kind, but not so 'nice'... then again, i am one of the most pleasant people... in the universe... i'll keep thinkin about this one.

numero seis- be thoughtful, but not over extending. i am 'almost' a 'women' now, therefore 'over extending' translates to 'you gets none back'.

numero siete: keep myself 'light' on all fronts. i like that i have a breezy aura. maintain.

numero ocho: be consistent.

numero nueve: maintain being a great friend to my peeps. step it up here, and there.

numero diez: volunteering. continue financially contributing to my lil homie in south america.

numero once: continue seeking what i am all about, and what/who i am suppose to be. 

numero doce: being highly pro-active about staying inspired daily. 

numero trece: pushing my 'creativity' out of my insides in many different ways.

numero catorce: coming up with a structured story line for my 'pigeon' story... bite me!

ok, i have to go now. life calls, and well, i have to go attend to it... numero quince: stop being life's bitch!