stuff my turkey

ok, maybe not... then again:)
anyhow, it's that 'tiiiiiime' of the year again...
you know, 'seasonal depression'.
everything just feels physically, and internally HEAVY.
last year, i was away on an island. it was nice, and simple. yet, i sorta kinda missed the chaos.
yes, i'm complicated, so?!!!
i am trying harder than ever this year (so i say @ 1:16pm nov 28th) to killlllll this
'darkness'. yea, go ahead, laugh.
but tis true, bitchez.
i am in the process of transforming my being to the universe... sounds kooky, it is.
once again, tis true.
i don't believe in for-ever. i mean, yes, i am, and will be fucking korean forever.
BUT that's about it. * pls leave it at that. i ain't in the mood for a challenge.
i am on my 'quest', 'journey', 'mission', and whatever dramatic 'war' vocab out there.
i WILL make all of my goals come to life before i hit... you know... it happens in feb.
whatever, life seems to be working... but, i want more. as always.
i am never content. that's just not part of my make-up.
you should of seen me 3 yrs ago around the holidays! i was xanax ouuuuut! yea, the whole time.
i hate having to talk to some of my 'conservative' family member sober.
they drive me nuts with their 'that's not in my 5 yr plan'.
i meeeeeeean, my god!!!!!why would god put my sick ass in this mix?!
i see, and experience the world so differently from them, and all i want is to be able to share, not fight for my opinions.
i guess a lot of people go through this shit in their fams too.
for me, whose usually a happy bitch, hattttte the holidays.
maybe, when i get a significant other i will be better at this bullshit.
oh, this brings me to another thing that i HATE:
why do people think you will be happier if you find a significant other (whose prob going to tell you you can't hang out with your friends?)
i mean, it's fucking dumb! excuse me, fucking reeeeeeeetarded!
sorry, i don't think i wanna get super fat just yet! cuz you know that after 2 yrs, your fat, and hate him/her. they've ruined your life.
ANNNNNNND of course for those who are 'healthy', enjoy, give 5 yrs.
moving on: new GREAT THINGS are in the works for my life!!!!
and i will bull-dose over all that gets in my way... because that's what madonna would do.