a year & a half ago, i started to feel highly uncomfortable in my own skin.
there was wayyy too much stress, drinking (4 fun, & 4 work), & smoking a shit load of ciggies.
oh, lets not forget the worst enemy of em all 'CARBS'.
stayed away from that shit like it was a sexual predator!
at that time, i thought the daily migraines were worth it.
'hey, i'll sniff an 8 ball, but you keep that fucking bread farrr away'!
ok, confession: i don't use cocaine, i am allergic to it. thank god!
crazy, but so!
yea, that 'fabulous' new york city bitch. whatever.
anyhow, this strange 'process' started to happen to me.
literally, overnight.
i wanted to re-design myself.
i kept seeing this girl (me) in my head.
let me explain: i get inspired by the oddest shit, then it starts to manifest visually ( i literally start to see things) and then the 'feelings' start to come alive... all in my head.
that is my 'creative' process.
my job is to make it a physical reality.
sooooo, here we go:
she was cleannnn!
not smoking.
not drinking a shit load.
glowing face (already got that down)
yogi body.
operating from the core.
and last, but not least, FREE.
free from it allllll!
i know the world is filled with massive amounts of bull shit, but i am human, so i participate.
buttttt, i want to be freeeeeeeee from it as much as i can.
moving forward:
i kept visualizing this girl (me.)
it was like my favourite past time.
one day i was @ my best friends house, and she had 'the secret' dvd.
so, of course, i am like 'put that shit onnnnnn'!!!
well, i fell asleep 15 mins in, but woke up in the middle of it, and then knocked the fuck out again.
now, you must understand: i rule nothinggggg out. ok!
i have no idea what happen to me that night!
but, everything started shifting.
did the shit get lodged into my brain?!?
all of a sudden, i started to make choices that were highly opposite.
i quit smoking. just like that. never looked at it again. weird.
no.
magic.
no cravings.
butttt ohhhhhhh mannnnn... lets just say my nick name wasn't 'cup-cake'.
cutting back on animal intake.
dairy has not entered the hannster in a few.
being more emotionally open (not so fun in the begin-ing, yikes)
telling men how i 'feel'... internally. btw: fucking useless. but crayons work.
trying to date men that are the complete opposite from my 'usual' (men that don't talk, kinda creepy, BUT super smart.)
drinking tea, not coffee.
eating my multi-vitamins daily.
taking more time for myself, instead of always lending the damn shoulder.
using all natural vegan face wash/toothpaste.
drinking enough water to piss out a man-made lake.
... much more, but n/a at this time.
anyhow, i have soooooo much more on my list to get to the image in my head of her (me)
it's exciting! she's beautiful in so many ways.
don't get me wrong, it's not just the outside, it's the inside too!!
i have been worrrrrrrkin hunnie!
it's all worth it, because for the first time in my life i KNOW this is the right path.
not just sorta, kinda, but for sure!
i really believe that i am changing my life. the best part is that i am proactive, meaning: i am involved.
that's a great feeling!
to be involved in your destiny.
people say shit like this alll time, but when it realllllllllllly connects to you on all levels (mind/body/spirit/soul) it's just different. it's whole!
i love the fact that the 'journey' has just begun.
that's the cool part, because i can literally make who i want to be;)
lets see what i come up with... u know i gotta sick ass imagination!
GOD-BLESS U BITCHEZ!
